How international students should try it and use it to their advantage.

Often, international students coming from different cultures (the oranges and yellows in The Lewis Model below) suffer from not being able to make small talk in English. Uncomfortable with the cultural ways of North America and accompanied by language barriers, international students almost immediately ‘get to work’ rather than trying to establish rapport first. The art of networking doesn’t come naturally to them. So, mentally they are trying to just get done with the conversation with the recruiter and leave.

The Lewis Model

So how does one go about it?

I suggest googling the topics of small talk- e.g., weather, city news, sports, etc. and starting with those. One way to be effective, and foolproof, is to use humor. For example, if you know the recruiter is coming from a city with a very different climate than yours, you can empathize, using humor, and begin the conversation.

1. One way to be intentional, to not overdo it, and to not become nervous is to do the following: Tell your mind to think of the recruiter as an acquaintance who was introduced to you by a friend, and who you are genuinely interested in, to know better! Say to yourself, “The person standing opposite to me is real and I want to build a connection with them. I don’t see them as a recruiter, but as another acquaintance!” Psychologically, as soon as you tell your mind this, it will believe it and will allow you to ease up and strike up conversations naturally and in your best element. That’s what you want, isn’t it? What generally attracts people towards you is your “likeability factor”. A lot of it can be built in just a few minutes by demonstrating how similar you are to the other person, even though you are essentially different! People really appreciate it. Remember, people want to connect with other people who are like them. It is human nature and you can work this to your advantage!
   
2. Another way to establish rapport intentionally is to have no agenda when talking to the recruiter. It helps the mind to relax, allows you to be in your natural element and helps you smile and look confident. These are some very attractive qualities to have while making that first impression. Remind yourself to not have an agenda, time and again, until this becomes second nature.

Why is small talk important?

Almost all candidates are skilled and have unique usable hard skills, so why should a recruiter select one over another? What’s unique about that one candidate? What makes them stand out? What differentiates them? Students have been preached on the importance of standing out from the crowd by several sources in their MBA journey: career services, self-help books, TED talks, guest speakers etc. etc. But, how can they possibly achieve this?

The answer is manifold:

1. Make others feel good about themselves – Keep people interested instead of putting forward your agenda. Give them the opportunity to talk about themselves and ask for their advice. Genuinely put them in the position of power because people love giving advice!
2. Make them feel good about yourself – “It’s not what you say, but how you make them feel!” I learned this from a Vice President during my internship at Dell and I have observed how this goes a long way!
3. Be self-aware – of your strengths and of your areas of improvement.
4. Embrace adventure in day-to-day life – Try something new and push yourself to do something outside of your comfort zone.
5. Be aware of your mind – It can play dirty tricks!
6. Have a growth mindset – Ask “what is the present situation trying to teach me?” instead of asking “why is this happening to me?”